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Toilet humour

Public reference to bodily functions such as urination and defecation is taboo in many cultures and thus arouses intense anxiety in many people. For this reason, there is a whole sub-genre of humour, toilet humour (also potty humour or bathroom humour) based around excretion. This genre is particularly popular with children. For that reason, it is particularly taboo when adults use it, though it is quite common.

This genre also sees substantial crossover with the sexual humour genre, most likely because of the multiple-function nature of the body parts involved in both genre as well as the sexual fetishism involved with certain bathroom functions.

Many artists have made their names promulgating toilet humour:

Toilet humour also refers to jokes around modesty, such as if one is seen naked or in his/her undergarments. It can also refer to jokes revolving around the incontinence of infants and young children or the aged or infirm. Jokes about wedgies and tighty-whitey underpants also fall in this category.(((or someone just plain old taking a dump and they forgot the door open)))

Constipation is another source of toilet humour. Screamin' Jay Hawkins recorded his "Constipation Blues" with his trademark yells after his first bout with blockage and the Bonzo Dog Band recorded "The Strain" on the same topic and with many of the same sound effects.

Table of contents

Euphemisms and witticisms

Many forms of toilet humour involve euphemisms for excretion, such as the following:

Urination

  • Beating the piss out of the little guy
  • Blasting the beast
  • Bleeding the lizard
  • Breaking the seal
  • Change water on the goldfish
  • Do a wee
  • Draining the dragon
  • Draining the main vein
  • Draining the radiator
  • Draining the one-eyed monster
  • Draining down the system
  • Freshen my Snapple
  • Go pee pee
  • Going to see a man about a dog
  • Going to water my horse
  • Hsi Hsi (Hawaii Local Term – Pronounced "SheShe")
  • Humping the cat loin
  • Leak the lizard
  • Lower the water level
  • Number one
  • Pass water
  • Paying the water bill
  • Pee Pee
  • Piddle (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
  • Pit stop
  • Point the Pink Pistol at the Porcelain Firing Range
  • Pointing Percy at the porcelain
  • Punish the porcelain
  • Release the pressure
  • Refresh the body
  • Relieve yourself
  • Seeing a man about a dog (or a horse)
  • Shaking hands with the vicar
  • Shaking hands with the wife's best friend
  • Shaking the dew off the lily
  • Siphon the python
  • Spend a penny
  • Sprinkle
  • Steering Stanley to the stainless steel
  • Syphon the python
  • Taking a leak
  • Taking a pee
  • Taking a piss (considered a coarse expression in some quarters)
  • Taking a slash
  • Taking a squirt
  • Taking a whiz
  • Tapping a kidney
  • Tinkle
  • Training Thomas on the terracotta
  • Twinkle
  • Visit Uncle Charley
  • Void my bladder
  • Walk my snake
  • Water my weasel
  • Watering the flowers (outdoor)
  • Write my name in the water
  • Write my name in the snow

Defecation

  • Releasing the Kraken
  • Baiting the trap
  • Faxing a shit to the toilet machine
  • De-corking the borking
  • Dropping the Mexican Boll Weevil
  • Squirt juice
  • Hungry Hungry Hippos
  • Assfire
  • Cripping A Crapple
  • Monopoly!
  • Tuesday Afternoons
  • Poop McFartlene
  • Dr. Benjamin Fartlin
  • Giving birth to the black eel
  • Backing the big brown motorhome out of the garage
  • Dropping a dook
  • Releasing a depth charge
  • Doing some spring cleaning
  • Back one out
  • Blasting a dookie
  • Boo-Boo
  • Ca-Ca
  • Curling one off
  • Cutting rope
  • Poo-Poo
  • Deucing
  • Dominating
  • Doo-Doo
  • Doodey
  • Download a brownload
  • Dropping anchor
  • Dropping the weights
  • Dropping a bomb
  • Dropping a deuce
  • Dropping a hoopsnake
  • Dropping a jolst
  • Dropping bass ("base" as in the opposite of treble. Not the fish.)
  • Dropping some friends off at the pool
  • Dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl
  • Dropping the kids off at the pool
  • Dropping wax
  • Feeding the seagulls (politer version of "Feeding the shitehawks")
  • Fertilising the plants (Refers to defecating outdoors and on the ground, such as while camping)
  • Filling the bowl
  • Giving birth
  • Going Boom Boom
  • Going poop
  • Going to number two
  • Launching torpedoes
  • Laying a brick
  • Laying a cable
  • Laying a Hank
  • Laying a turd
  • Laying some wolf bait
  • Lengthening the spine
  • Lose some weight (Also used in urination)
  • Making a tail
  • Making logs (or a log)
  • Making waves
  • Makin' bears
  • Grahamslaw your pants
  • Number two (a portable toilet company advertises itself as "Number One in Number Two"; a Midwest plumbing company proclaims, "We're Number One when your toilet looks like Number Two.")
  • Pebble-dashing the porcelain
  • Pinching (off) a loaf
  • Pinching a yam
  • Producing some output
  • Taking a brew
  • Taking a crap (see also Mr. Thomas Crapper)
  • Taking a dump
  • Taking a poo
  • Taking a shit (a coarse expression, not a euphemism)
  • Taking the Browns to the Superbowl
  • Taking the Cosby kids to the pool
  • Taking the morning curl
  • Unloading a batch of cigars
  • Wrestling with a brown boy
  • Poopy Woo
  • Ring of fire
  • Montezuma's Revenge (traveller’s diarrhoea)
  • Going to meet Jim Davidson
  • Giving birth to a chocalote baby boy
  • Chocolate time!
  • Doing brown
  • Throwing up backwards
  • Punishing the toilet
  • Letting loose
  • Becoming the porcelain assassin
  • Letting the dogs out
  • Dropping off the kids at the pool

Flatulence

  • All-natural fumigation
  • Anal thunder
  • A quick piece from the anus orchestra
  • Ass-music
  • Ass-whistling
  • Anal music
  • Bake brownies (from South Park)
  • Beef-cloud
  • Blow a big one
  • Blow off
  • Blowing out the colon
  • Booty burp
  • Bottom burp
  • Break wind
  • Bust ass
  • Chemical warfare
  • Choke a donkey
  • Churning urn of burning funk
  • Crop Dusting (while walking)
  • Cut the cheese
  • Drop one's guts (as in "Who dropped their guts?")
  • Erupting the anal volcano
  • Evacuating the second floor
  • Explosion between the legs
  • Floating an air biscuit
  • Gaseous Anal Discharge (GAD)
  • Give birth to a brown baby ghost
  • Give up the funk
  • Grunt (as in "Who grunted?")
  • Honking for clearance
  • Killing the barking spiders (helps if you stomp)
  • Launching a growler
  • Launch one off
  • Let off a howler
  • Let off a stinker
  • Letting the Wookie win
  • Let one go
  • Let one off
  • Let slip the dog of war
  • Message from below
  • Number four
  • Pass gas
  • Pass wind
  • Rip one
  • Silent, but deadly
  • Step on a frog
  • Trouser cough
  • Watch out for those barking spiders
  • Woofie

Vomiting

  • Alan's psychedelic breakfast
  • Barfing
  • Be the mother bird
  • Blowing beets/bile/breakfast/chunks/donuts
  • Blue chip special
  • Booting
  • Bow down before the porcelain god (On some occasions, the worshipper vows to the god never to drink again.)
  • Bradding
  • Bring it up for a vote
  • Calling Huey (or Ralph) on the commode-a-phone
  • Catch it on the rebound
  • Cheektowaga scream
  • Chow
  • Chunder
  • Cook up a pavement pizza
  • Cry Ruth
  • Date Porcelain Patty
  • Driving the Buick to Europe
  • Driving the porcelain (school) bus
  • Eat backwards
  • Feed the fish (when seasick)
  • Feed your young (like a mother bird regurgitates food for her chicks)
  • Food Escape!
  • Have an out-of-stomach experience
  • Hiccup from Hell
  • Hock a furball
  • Horking
  • Hug the porcelain wishing well
  • Hurling
  • Hwarfing
  • Inverse Gut
  • Jackson Pollock
  • Jump shot
  • Kiss the can
  • Kneel before the porcelain throne
  • Lap lung butter
  • Launch lunch
  • Lose your lunch
  • Make a crustless pizza
  • Make a hideous jiffy bag
  • Make like Mount St. Helens
  • Number three
  • Offer a sacrifice at the porcelain altar
  • Paint the sidewalk
  • Park the tiger
  • Pay homage to the Irishman Huey O'Rourke
  • Pop a gastric zit
  • Pray/worship at the porcelain altar/temple
  • Pray to the porcelain god/goddess/princess
  • Puking
  • Pulling the trigger (intentionally vomiting)
  • Quease
  • Ralphing
  • Regurgitate
  • Reverse-drink (from the Thunder Mug)
  • Revisit dinner
  • Ride the Regurgitron
  • Rope på elgen (Norwegian for "call the moose")
  • Scream at the ants
  • Sing psychedelic praises to the depths of the china bowl
  • Snarf
  • Snow bank pizza
  • Soittaa posliinipuhelimella Norjaan (Finnish for "make a phone call to Norway with a telephone made of porcelain")
  • Soul coughing
  • Spewing
  • Splatterhouse
  • Spraying McDonalds (as in "Did somebody spray McDonalds?")
  • Talking on the porcelain telephone
  • Talking to the weeds
  • Talking to God on the big white telephone
  • Technicolour yawn/yodel
  • Throwing up
  • Thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
  • Toilet bowl toss
  • Tossing your cookies
  • Turn your guts inside-out
  • Un-eat
  • Upchuck
  • Vector-spew
  • Vomiting
  • Warhol wail
  • Waste good beer
  • Yakking
  • Yarfing
  • Yawn for the hearing impaired
  • Yodelling to the porcelain megaphone
  • Yorxing

Eructation

  • Belching
  • Burping
  • Ructus

Combinations

Another section of toilet humour involves combination bodily functions, which are generally the unexpected result of some forcing mechanism. While these events certainly don't have the lexicographical diversity of their single-function counterparts, they are generally considered humorous in discussion and especially in occurrence.

  • Vurping – When someone vomits when they eructate.
  • Sharting – When someone defecates as the result of overpressures created by attempting to flatulate.
  • Snarting – When someone farts as the result of sneezing-induced overpressures.
  • The Holy Shart – When someone defecates in his/her pants with a fart that came as the result of sneezing. Better if someone says "bless you" with the sneeze.

Miscellaneous body parts, odours and medical ailments

Many of these have their own sets of slang and humourous terms and eupemisms (which should be developed as part of this article).

Ambiguous

The following are used as intentionally ambiguous terms for a visit to a bathroom/toilet to urinate, defecate, or both:

  • Answering nature's call
  • Finishing up some paper-work (wiping)
  • Going to hit the head (Naval Term)
  • Going to the can
  • Going to the little boys'/girls' room (mostly in American English)
  • Going to the loo (UK)
  • Going to the "happy room" (Thailand)
  • Going to the bathroom (US)
  • Going to the "office" (or "cubicle")
  • Going to the "little inventor's room"
  • Going where even the king goes alone
  • Going where even the emperor must go on foot
  • Having a healthy
  • Paying a visit
  • Powdering one's nose
  • Reighning on a porcelain throne
  • Taking a biological break
  • Taking a constitutional
  • Using the facilities
  • Using the plumbing
  • Seeing Mrs. Murphy
  • Visiting Mr. Limbaugh
  • Washing one's hands

Encyclopaedic toilet humour

It is a tradition in the encyclopaedic business to compare other publishers of dictionaries or fact books to restrooms. A current example was Robert McHenry's essay in a web magazine. [1].

See also

External link

  • doodie.com Popular website featuring cartoons of people defecating.







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