Spoo

Spoo is a valuble and highly desired food product from the fictional Babylon 5 universe. Derived from the alien worm-like creatures of the same name, spoo is generally considered to be the most delicious food in the known galaxy, regardless of which species is asked (though opinions differ as to the proper way to prepare the dish).

In recent years, spoo has taken on various meanings outside of the Babylon 5 universe as a neologism, from day trading jargon to computer programming.

Origins in Babylon 5

Spoo as we now know it first appeared in the first episode of the Babylon 5 television series, when it was briefly mentioned by the Narn Ambassador, G'Kar. The show's creator and executive poducer, J. Michael Straczynski, who also wrote the episode in question (as well as most of the series), was soon deluged by questions from fans from the various online message boards on which he frequently posted (such as GEnie, CompuServe, and USENET). At first Straczynski's responses were intentionally vague – ("Spoo is." [1]) After a couple of years of speculation from Babylon 5 fandom, Straczynski finally explained the the mysteries of spoo (archived here, here, and here), in what has become regarded as a classic (and hilarious) element of the Babylon 5 mythology.

The Creatures

Spoo (the creature) is generally regarded with contempt by most of the sentient species that have encountered it – in part because of it's extreme ugliness as a species (tiny, pasty, mealworm like creatures), and in part because of the difficulty encountered with cultivation (namely the sighing – see below). Indeed, according to Straczynski, spoo "are the only creatures of which the Interstellar Animal Rights Protection League says, simply, 'Kill 'em.'"

The creatures are raised in ranches on planets with moist and chilly climates, not really because the creatures thrive in such environs, but because it produces the best level of paleness in the creatures' skin. Starting a spoo ranch is relatively easy: one needs only to place two hundred spoo in the middle of the ranch and wait. Soon enough, they have reproduced in sufficient numbers and cultivation can commence, with the preferred method being a simple whack with a stick. Little physical effort is required to cull the heards – spoo are incapable of moving more than six inches in a year, tend to stay propped up against one another in herds "ostensibly for mutual protection," and attempts at movement usually end up in the creatures toppling over. The only real difficulty in spoo ranching is in the only sound the creatures make: loud, continuous sighing. The only protection against the sighing is the use of ear muffs, which eventually cannot block the sheer volume (and volume) of sighs as the harvest progresses. The sighing often triggers bouts of major depression, with some ranchers even going mad from the incessant sighs.

Taste and uses

Spoo is a very versatile food product. It can be made into everything from soups to sandwiches. Most often it is prepared in cubes so that it resembles as little as possible the animal from which the food came. Straczynski once described the taste as "Meat Jello. Served chilled."[2] In reality, the taste of spoo can only really be described as indescribable, though different races clearly have their own views on its hard-to-pin-down taste, and their own preferences on how it is prepared: as an example, the Narn like their spoo fresh, while the Centauri prefer it aged. The Pak'ma'ra like the flavor (whatever that is), but will not admit to such, in part because of their religious beliefs which dictate that they only eat carion.

Real-world Spoo

Many fans have attempted to make spoo themselves. One common method is the use of tofu – itself a rather versatile and hard to describe food with a pale color. And there have been times when Straczynski has been eating at a restaurant or event, and a fan will send over a plate of food "christened spoo."[3]

Real-world Etymology of the Name

One of Straczynski's earliest responses to the spoo question also revealed how he created the word, which is befitting a word with such a humorous definition: "Spoo is Oops spelled backward."[4]

Also of note is that Babylon 5 is not the first place spoo appears. Straczynski was a writer in the 1983 cartoon series He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. After a fan recalled a possible spoo reference from that show, Straczynski replied:

"[Yes], I slipped some spoo in there once. A couple of real cute (as in wanna drop a truck on them cute) elf-types offer Skeletor a bowl of Spoo. His reply: (in a mincing tone to start) 'No, I don't want any SPOOOOOOO. I *hate* Spoo. (beat) And I don't even know what Spoo IS.'"

As a humorous nonsense word separate from its fictional definition, spoo has been creeping into popular culture references [5], sometimes as a replacement for stuff (etc.), as is the case with its first recorded use on USENET in 1989 [6], and later as a mis-spelling of spew, and as an alternative to semen. Some, however, lay claim to creating the word before Straczynski. One blogger (spoo.net) claims to have had spoo attached to him as a nick-name in the mid-1980's on various message boards, but the use of spoo on He-Man and the Masters of the Universe pre-dates his own claims. Regardless, Straczynski's works were the first known to use it in the popular media.

Current Use

• Since its advent in Babylon 5, "spoo space" has been used by some in the science fiction community on online message boards instead of spoiler space (Internet example here and numerous USENET examples here).

• Some computer programmers have used the Babylon 5 reference as titles of their programs. Of note is the Syndicomm Python Offline Orchestrator, a Python-based program for reading bulletin boards back formed to fit the reference.

• Spoo are featured in the first Babylon Park parody short, Spoohunter.

• Entirely unrelated to Straczynski's creation, stock and bond day traders have begun to use "spoo" in place of "S&P 500 futures". [7]

Related articles

• List of Babylon 5 articles

Additional References

• The Babylon 5 episodes in which spoo appears or is mentioned: Midnight on the Firing Line, The Geometry of Shadows, Point of No Return, A View from the Gallery, A Tragedy of Telepaths, and Meditations on the Abyss.
• Concise archive of JMS "Spoo" posts
• More on Spoo and the S&P 500

External links

• The Temple of Spoo: Spoo resources, recipes, humor, and fan fiction.
• The Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5: The definitive Babylon 5 resource.
• JMSNews: The J. Michael Straczynski message archive.