Herbert Garrison

Herbert Garrison, voiced by Trey Parker, is a fictional character in the South Park cartoon series. For the first eight seasons of the series, the character was known as Mr. Garrison but in season 9 underwent sex reassignment surgery. The character was thereafter known as Mrs. Garrison.

Garrison is a native of Arkansas and speaks with a Southern accent.

Quote: "You go to hell! You go to hell, and you die!"

For the first three seasons, Mr. Garrison was the third-grade elementary school teacher at South Park Elementary. In the fourth season he was fired, but he was later rehired as the kindergarten teacher, where he enjoyed teaching sex education. By the end of the sixth season he was promoted to the fourth grade after the death of Ms. Choksondik.

Personality and Sexual Identitiy

Although acknowledged only sparingly in the series, Mr. Garrison suffers from a wide variety of social problems, the most noticeable of which appears to be multiple personality disorder. Mr. Garrison constantly held a puppet known as Mr. Hat which he used as a sort of second, more aggressive personality, as well as for emoting his internal conflicts. For a period in the third season, in a fictional crossover psychotherapy session with Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (another Comedy Central series), he became aware of his homosexual side, "broke up" with Mr. Hat and used a different, more subdued puppet named Mr. Twig. Upon moving up to fourth grade, he abandoned the puppet in favor of a human assistant, Mr. Slave. Mr. Slave's name is what it is for a reason; he is quite literally Mr. Garrison's slave, in the sexual bondage sense. He wears black leather clothing and restraints, sometimes including a ball gag. His catch phrase is "Oh, Jesus Christ", with a heavy, stereotypical gay lisp. Garrison adopted Mr. Slave in an attempt to be so offensive he would be fired so he could sue the school for discrimination, but to his disappointment no one seemed to have a problem with it, and he was instead praised for being "courageous."

His changing sexual identities are a continuing source of problems for Mr. Garrison. Though he often acts in a very clichéd homosexual manner, for a long time Garrison could be seen chasing women and displaying a very homophobic attitude towards gays. However, he would eventually have a change of heart, and "came out" as a homosexual in season 4. Still, as a sign of his continuing emotional and psychological problems, he continues to use homophobic language. He has also shown interest in pedophilia and he may have engaged in intercourse with Cartman's pig (as the piglet she had looked a lot like him), and it is suggested that this is not his first dabble in bestiality. All this, combined with the Mr. Slave issue and his despair that his father had not sexually molested him as a boy, seems to indicate that he still has sexual issues that need to be resolved.

Quote:

• Chef: Children, there's a BIG difference between gay people and Mr. Garrison! Do you understand that??

Mrs. Garrison

In the 9th season premiere episode, Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina (original airdate: March 9, 2005), Mr. Garrison revealed that he had not, in fact, been gay, but was actually a "woman trapped in a man's body". Following a vaginoplasty Herbert became Mrs. Garrison.

The operation turns out to have consequences that Garrison had not adequately considered. Her gay male lover, Mr. Slave, who had not been consulted before the operation, declines Garrison's sexual overtures afterwards, saying "But I'm gay! I don't like vaginas!" Garrison unrealistically responds that they can still continue as lovers, "All you have to do is stop being gay!" When Mr. Slave leaves, Garrison exclaims, "You're just gonna walk out?! You men are all alike! Go ahead and find somebody who doesn't have a vagina, you fag!" Garrison also notes that there have been no menstrual periods after the vaginoplasty, and, believing this is the result of pregnancy, is delighted by the prospect of having an abortion.

After being told that a vaginoplasty does not result in the ability to have periods, pregnancies, or abortions, ("You mean, I'll never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me and then scramble its brains and vacuum it out?.... I'm not really a woman.… I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis! Oh boy, do I feel like a jackass…"), Garrison wanted to change back. Unfortunately, Herbert's scrotum and testicles — lost through surgery — had been used to turn Kyle's dad into a dolphin and to turn Kyle into a tall black man so that Kyle could play basketball. Kyle destroyed the testicles while doing a slam dunk, so Mrs. Garrison was thus unable to reverse her reconstructive surgery.

Mrs. Garrison had no choice other than to remain a woman … "Even though I'm not truly a woman, I think I still like the new me. I'd rather be a woman who can't have periods than a fag. Hey guys! This girl is staying a woman! Who wants to pound my vag? Girl power!". She has appeared in several episodes that have aired since then, though usually in very small roles, as if her appearance was simply to reinforce to the audience, "Yes, she's still a woman."

Quote:

• "That dolphin has my scrotum! Now let us in!"

Episode Trivia

In one episode, Mr. Garrison attempts to shoot Kathie Lee Gifford from the South Park book depository but misses and kills Kenny instead. In another episode, an inaccurate flashback to this scene shows Garrison killing Kathie Lee and revealing that she is a space alien.