Chaim Time

Chaim Time is the award winning multimedia extravaganza of a website formed by one Haim Cohen in the year 2002 CE. Contained within are the uber-important ramblings of forementioned fellow and his droogs, including such luminaries as, Steven Sacks, Justin Fried, Thomas Faust and his girlfriend and fiance Rebecca Hand. While browsing through this site, the reader will find him or self transported to a realm in which the dialectic is of a pure nature, the rhetoric is always witty and interesting and of course, the snozberries taste like snozberries. As the personal emissary of Mr. Cohen himself, I welcome all who would like to peruse through this litany of literature, a veritable codex of true wisdom.

The URL for Chaim Time is http://www.chaimtime.com.

What is?

Chaim Time is a personal humor website created by Rutgers University Alumni Haim Cohen.

Haim Cohen will graduate from Rutgers in May 2005 with a B.A. in Computer Science, and a B.S. in Statistics. He will be a math teacher.

Chaim Time was launched on September 25, 2002, and currently is in its third transformation. First version was a blog. The main objective of Chaim Time vol. 1 was to, in a way, to create a central area for all of Haim's stories that happened to him. In other words, a blog.

Version 2, started not to long after version 1. Haim realized that in fact his life was boring than he made it out to be. Feedback indicated that people liked when he ranted on about trivial things; something he was always good at. He wrote some of his tirades down, and recalled back to his high school days, to create Chaim Time Version 2. In addition, to show the dramatic change, he redid the layout of the site.

Version 3, appeared, March 21, 2005. Frustrated with the difficulty of updating everday, and ranting bi-monthly, Chaim needed to find a way to make updating easier, and increase content, he decided to implement a database driven website. In addition, he asked friends that have one time or another helped him with ideas to become contributors to the website.

Beliefs of Chaim Time:

Chaim Time believes in one thing, and that is the 99% rule. The 99% rule says that 99%, of everything is bad, stupid, idiotic, or anything not "good." Our goal on Chaim Time is to show you what is "good," or the 1%.

Influences:

Maddox – writer of the best page in the universe http://maddox.xmission.com/

Drew Curtis – webmaster of the best news site on the internet FARK.com – http://www.fark.com

Somethingawful – The internet that makes you stupid – http://www.somethingawful.com

People of Chaim Time

Haim Cohen – founder, president, other important person terms

Steven Sacks – Head writing contributor, came up with some of the best ideas for Chaim Time

Rebecca Hand – Finance/and future wife (depending on when you read this) of Haim Cohen.

Justin Freid – Main critcizer. First one to spell Haim with a "C" to produce Chaim Time

Tim Johnson and Tom Faust – Good friends of Chaim Time that come up with good ideas.

John Ament – Partial designer and helps Haim code.

What are Rants?

Rants have two qualifications to them. They first have to be something that have pissed someone off, and two, they have to be something worth writing about. A car that cut you off today doesn't count as a rant because how much can you write about a car cutting you off. It happened, get over it. A rant is something like how you are sick of pedestrians holding up traffic while trying to get home, and how you can stop them. In this idea you present what pisses you off, and how you plan on dealing with it. Usually, they are not humane ways, but whatever works.

What is the movie project?

Steve Sacks and Haim Cohen decided to prove the 99% rule, by applying it to movies. Movies were something that everyone could have an opinion on. Books had to be read (and we were lazy) and music is very subjective. Starting in May 2004 we sat and watched movies, usually the ones we knew, or hoped were good. The ongoing results can be found at www.chaimtime.com under movies.

What is your book about?

Haim wrote a book while working as a lifeguard. He got tired of getting pissed off, and nobody caring, so he decided to write it in print form. The book became popular with the patrons of the pool. Some of the people he insulted, were his biggest fans. It just summarizes all the bad things of a gym/pool fitness center.

Greatest Hits

The new fad is the greatest hits. As long as you have two or more of anything out, you too can have greatest hits. Our greatest hits include:

99% rule – 99% of everything is bad

Gift Day – Our holiday invented to promote the materialism and commercialism of America

SASADD – The Students Against the Students Against Drunk Driving

Answer my Question – Answer the question, nothing more, and nothing less

Internet Ebonics – LOL... R U kewl d00d

Why NJ is the best state

Future of Chaim Time?

Nobody knows, not even Haim, where the site is going from here, all he knows is that he wants it to be successful. With the recruitment of more people, and the new updating features he hopes that more interesting content will drive more people to the site, and it will grow.