Aaron Kraus

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Aaron Kraus was swept into the Presidency of the University of Maryland, College Park Student Government Association (SGA) in 2004 on the strength of his wit and beauty. A charming figure, no more than 5 feet tall, Aaron possesses an animal magnetism that attacts all but the coldest of souls. Other powers include the ability to communicate with mammals, and invisibility.

Kraus' early childhood was tragic. Three of his roomates died in a freak lacrosse fight accident, and it scarred young Aaron for life. Meanwhile, his parents punished him by forcing him to collect household items from tall shelves, and laughing while he jumped fruitlessly.

Kraus' life took a drastic turn for the better when he applied at the University of Maryland, College Park and was accepted after performing unspecified but likely scandalous favors for the admissions department. After a losing bid for the presidency of SGA in 2003, Kraus ran again the following year, with hardened grit and determination. Despite the cool rationale of opponent Sing Su and the antics of opponent Andy LoPresto (rumor has it a fourth candidate ran but no evidence has shown this to be true), Kraus became ruler of the most powerfully ineffective student organization on campus.

According to Maryland student newspaper, The Diamondback, Kraus was responsible for 18 of his roommates at his fraternity house being arrested for illegal possession of marijuana. In addition, he froze pipes, caused global warming, and provoked the Governor of Maryland, Robert Ehrlich (R) into revoking all state funding for the University. These are just a few of Kraus' accomplishments.

A major point of contention during his reign was his struggle with rival anti-hero organization, the Residence Halls Association (RHA). Led by the suave, yet villainous Hannah Putnam, a metaphorical war of words quickly literalized into climactic spars on the walls of the multi-story La Plata Hall. Many epic battles have occurred with no closure. Someday perhaps, the chimney stacks will burn with white smoke — but for now, they burn black indeed.

Kraus is single and enjoys women with a little bounce and a lot of hair.

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